#38 Fear as a Teacher

In this episode, Roy and Catherine dig into fear as a teacher. Roy approaches it two ways: first, following on from the last episode, the fear around what was being pushed on people during Covid, where the lesson was recognising it was orchestrated and understanding the dangers of what people were being told to take. Second, the fear instilled by abusive schoolteachers, something he’s seen damage people for years, especially through his speaking podcast, where guests trace a lifelong fear of public speaking back to being humiliated by an authority figure as a child, though facing that fear later can also become its own lesson in what you’re actually capable of. Catherine shares a story about a friend at an expensive private school whose dance teacher called her clumsy in front of the class and sentenced her to play piano while everyone else danced, leaving her unable to dance sober for the rest of her life, despite being a genuinely good dancer. She connects this to the broader British culture of mockery disguised as humour, where cruelty gets excused as “just joking” and the person hurt gets labelled thin-skinned, creating a fear of being vulnerable that damages relationships and courage long-term. She contrasts that with a singer-songwriter guest raised in a creative household with no fear-based pressure to play it safe, who chose to write songs about joy rather than pain purely because that’s what he believed in, and who she sees as living proof of what happens without fear driving the decisions. Catherine also reveals she had no fear of Covid itself, having grown up in a natural-health, unvaccinated household, except for one specific 24-hour window of absolute terror that she came to understand wasn’t her own fear, but the collective fear of everyone else, a lesson in empathy she needed to go through. Roy then shares his own schoolteacher story: a history teacher who made the class memorise endless pages, screamed at students, and told 13-year-old Roy in front of 30 classmates that his dead grandmother could do better after he scored 17%, only for Roy to get a different teacher three years later and score 100% and a top state exam grade. He later found out at a reunion that this same teacher told another student he’d amount to nothing, a student who went on to struggle badly with drugs, and takes from it that parents need to pay close attention to what teachers are actually saying to their kids and act fast if something’s wrong. Catherine closes on the point that past damage from being terrorised by someone, whether a teacher or anyone else, doesn’t have to be carried forward forever, confronting it and refusing to let it happen again now is part of how that old wound actually heals.

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